It's been a tough couple of days for me emotionally. One of my dear friends passed away on Saturday, and I've found my thoughts turning to him and his family frequently. I feel like I was given the gift of their friendship over the past year and a half since I met them, and my heart just hurts for them. I can't help but think that the boys have a new angel watching over them now...
And I hope that he's smiling up there after the day they had today... for it was truly a day of surprises. First of all, the boys only wanted ONE FEEDING between 11pm last night and 7am this morning!!!! Let me repeat that- ONE FEEDING!!!! I'm sure it was a fluke and they'll wake up every two hours tonight to make up for it, but it sure was a lovely respite from the norm. You'd think I'd be used to the lack of sleep by now. After all, I haven't had a solid night of sleep since the first trimester of our pregnancy- there's no reason to not be used to it. But nope! I miss sleep so much, but at the same time in a weird sort of way, I kind of like the night feedings- they mean that I get to see my boys just that much more. And when I start back to work in mid March, that might be one of the few times I see them awake on the days that I work.
So both Jason and I were grateful for last night. I was so out of it when the munchkins woke up this morning that Jason had to explain to me that we only did one feeding last night- I was so confused!
And the lovely surprises just kept coming. After our morning feeding and diaper change, I let them hang out in our bed in only their fresh diapers. They love being naked! Imagine my surprise to hear Jenson LAUGH when I blew raspberries on his tummy. I'm not talking just a smile or two. I'm talking full on laughter for multiple minutes from the child!! Each of the boys has had a giggle or two before today, but this was truly the first time that the laughter was in direct response to something that we did. I'm not sure who laughed more in the end- Jenson or me in pure delight at hearing his beautiful laughter!
The other surprise happened this afternoon after their 4pm bottle. Elliott and Sidney woke up around the same time from their nap and were hungry, so I fed them both on the couch together (letting Jenson continue his nap). When they were finished eating and being burped, I laid Sidney on my folded leg and held Elliott up to him face to face. Both of them immediately made eye contact with each other, broke out into smiles, and started cooing at each other! I know the boys all sense each other's presence around them, and Lord knows we've had more than our fair share of unintentional eye pokings, nose pickings, hand holding, etc. But it was such a blatant, intentional interaction with each other and it just took my breath away to get to bear witness it.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Lovely weekend...
We had a LOVELY weekend together as a family. We're definitely settling down into a "normal" routine with the boys. Not many people would recognize what we do as "normal", but it's working for us. :)
This may seem like a goofy thing to consider as a milestone, but for the first time ever, we fed the boys their bottles at a place other than a home or the doctor's office! On Saturday morning, the five of us ventured out to our local Ikea. I have always LOVED getting breakfast at Ikea- inexpensive, delicious, easy. So I was super stoked to pack up the munchkins yesterday morning to go out for our first breakfast since the boys arrived.
They were little angels! All three slept while Jason and I ate, which allowed us to just sit and chat with each other like old times. Of course, there were some differences. Instead of holding hands in line with each other, Jason went through the line to get our food while I waited at a table with the two strollers. While normally Jason and I don't draw much attention from those around us (at least we didn't before the pregnancy!), that was definitely not the case as I watched people's heads turn and heard the whispers when they saw the munchkins.
So regardless of the fact that we appear to be seen by others as a circus sideshow act, we had fun. We had fun with each other, we had a blast with the boys, and we enjoyed the outing. After our breakfast and a stroll around the store, it was time to feed the boys. Jason and I each grabbed a baby and plugged their bottles in. Sidney was still snoozing, so we let him continue while we fed the other two. As each baby finished their bottle, we'd burp them and then I'd take them into the bathroom (one at a time) to change their diaper. Quite the production line, and quite the attention grabber. But it would have been far more awkward to try to do this in the parked car.
So the lesson we learned is this: nothing says "classy" like feeding your triplet boys in the lobby of your local Ikea. :)
This may seem like a goofy thing to consider as a milestone, but for the first time ever, we fed the boys their bottles at a place other than a home or the doctor's office! On Saturday morning, the five of us ventured out to our local Ikea. I have always LOVED getting breakfast at Ikea- inexpensive, delicious, easy. So I was super stoked to pack up the munchkins yesterday morning to go out for our first breakfast since the boys arrived.
They were little angels! All three slept while Jason and I ate, which allowed us to just sit and chat with each other like old times. Of course, there were some differences. Instead of holding hands in line with each other, Jason went through the line to get our food while I waited at a table with the two strollers. While normally Jason and I don't draw much attention from those around us (at least we didn't before the pregnancy!), that was definitely not the case as I watched people's heads turn and heard the whispers when they saw the munchkins.
So regardless of the fact that we appear to be seen by others as a circus sideshow act, we had fun. We had fun with each other, we had a blast with the boys, and we enjoyed the outing. After our breakfast and a stroll around the store, it was time to feed the boys. Jason and I each grabbed a baby and plugged their bottles in. Sidney was still snoozing, so we let him continue while we fed the other two. As each baby finished their bottle, we'd burp them and then I'd take them into the bathroom (one at a time) to change their diaper. Quite the production line, and quite the attention grabber. But it would have been far more awkward to try to do this in the parked car.
So the lesson we learned is this: nothing says "classy" like feeding your triplet boys in the lobby of your local Ikea. :)
Friday, February 1, 2013
4 Days in the Hospital
Only one more entry for the blog regarding the delivery and subsequent hospitalization- finally!
But before I write about that, I have to share something that happened this morning. Jason went off to work early, which meant that it was to be a "Momma and sons" day- yeah! Elliott had been a bit fussy during the night, so he was actually already in bed with me. Sidney and Jenson woke up (smiling!), so I brought them in to join the party. Before they had their morning bottle, I read some books to them and sang some songs too. I was singing one of my favorite songs to them, You Are My Sunshine, when I glanced out the window and I kid you not- the sun literally rose over my neighbor's rooftop just as I did. Talk about perfect timing...
Anyway, back to our stay in the hospital after delivering the boys...
But before I write about that, I have to share something that happened this morning. Jason went off to work early, which meant that it was to be a "Momma and sons" day- yeah! Elliott had been a bit fussy during the night, so he was actually already in bed with me. Sidney and Jenson woke up (smiling!), so I brought them in to join the party. Before they had their morning bottle, I read some books to them and sang some songs too. I was singing one of my favorite songs to them, You Are My Sunshine, when I glanced out the window and I kid you not- the sun literally rose over my neighbor's rooftop just as I did. Talk about perfect timing...
Anyway, back to our stay in the hospital after delivering the boys...
We were lucky enough to get to have our OWN room- no roommates for this girl! So Jason, Jenson, and I got to spend the next four days after the birth spread out in a room that felt like a palace. Alright, so it was just a single room, but it still felt like a palace to me! I think now about how little space we afford our patients when they have to have a roommate and it makes me so grateful that amidst all of the stress and changes after our delivery, the stress of a roommate was not one of them. When I remarked to one of my nurses that I was so grateful for a private room, she made a comment that they usually like to put doctors and nurses in their own rooms. Whether that's true or not, I'm not sure. But it wouldn't surprise me- we should be segregated from the rest of normal society! :)
Getting settled into my room that evening went pretty smoothly. It was wonderful to be surrounded by our friends and their love that evening. Seriously- we are blessed. Making sure I was comfortable, making sure Jason had something to eat, changing Jenson's first diaper (and getting peed on by him too!)... As most of you know, Jenson got to stay in the room with us the entire hospitalization. Even though he was the smallest by almost two whole pounds, he never had to go to the NICU (except for a trip or two with us to visit his brothers). The only time he left our sides was for his nightly trip to be assessed in the nursery across the hall for a few minutes with his nurse or when Jason and I wanted to go to visit Sid and Elliott in the NICU.
And for that we were so grateful. Both Jason and I had prepared ourselves for babies to go to the NICU- or at least we thought we had. Who were we kidding? Nothing can really prepare you for the actual emotional experience of having your child have to go there. While we were grateful that everything went as smoothly as it did, it was still heartbreaking in a way to be separated from our two sweet boys like that. So it was a blessing to have Jenson get to stay with us because it helped to keep us grounded and sane. He served as a constant reminder that we had been blessed with three beautiful baby boys and that soon we'd all get to be together.
I was so pleased with our nurses, and I felt like I was pretty spoiled by them. Any time you can get someone to bring you hot tea at 3 in the morning? Spoiled! (One of my nurses told me that hot tea can help your breast milk to come in, so I tried to guzzle it anytime I could). And I have to say that I actually thought the hospital food was pretty good. Maybe I'm pretty easy to please in that respect, but it was good! Jason was very concerned, however, that I wasn't getting to eat enough hot food. Not because they weren't bringing me hot food, but because we were having so many visitors (friends and staff alike) that I would forget to eat until he practically had to hold the fork up to my mouth for me.
And we did have a LOT of visitors- friends, family, coworkers. Even the nurses that had done my non-stress tests during the pregnancy stopped in to say hi and congratulate us! And talk about life coming full circle- in one of my first blogs, I'd talked about a patient of mine that was actually the first person (other than Jason and me) to find out about our pregnancy. Guess who completely surprised me and came to visit us?!? He and his wonderful wife got to meet Jenson and catch up- what a lovely gift and a reminder of how much has changed over this journey for everyone...
One of the things about my hospitalization that I will look back on with the fondest of smiles will be the time that I got to spend cuddling with Jenson, day and night. The poor kid barely spent any time out of my arms, except for when he was being held in someone else's. We basically used the hospital bassinet/crib thing solely as a diaper changing station. I worried that I'd sleep through him fussing or crying if he was in it! And until the day we were discharged, Jenson wore nothing except a diaper. We'd swaddle him in blankets for visitors to hold him, but he basically spent the first four days of his life going skin-to-skin with Jason or me. I couldn't bear to put him in the crib at night, so he slept for his first four nights nestled on my chest. The only thing that would have been better would have been to have all three peanuts nestled there...
We'd visit Elliott and Sidney multiple times a day, have visitors, and deal with the various details that come along with having babies. Filling out birth certificate information, meeting with the NICU social worker, working with the lactation consultants... our days were busy! I kept thinking I'd take a nap, and then another visitor or staff member would knock at the door. Looking back, I probably should have slept more, but it was way too special to have our friends coming to share in our joy.
And I was feeling pretty good physically, all things considered. The shakes that I experienced after the delivery were pretty much gone by that same evening. I was up and walking by myself by the next morning. Okay, so I wasn't running marathons at that point, but I could get around the room just fine and stand at Elliott's and Sidney's cribs for a short time before I'd need to sit down again. Jason was amazing during this time- so attentive and just making sure all of my needs and Jenson's needs were being taken care of. We joke about it, but Jason actually changed more of the munchkins' diapers while we were in the hospital than I did! And he did all of it so willingly that it amazed me. I'm not sure I've ever seen a man so excited to clean up poop. :)
My pain was fairly well controlled, but it just felt so weird to still feel pregnant (lots of weird aches, retained fluids, hot flashes, etc) and yet intellectually know that there were no longer babies in that weird-shaped tummy of mine. Due to the surgery, I had a lot of fluid and air in my abdomen. Instead of seeing the munchkins' movements across my belly, I now got to watch air pockets move around my tummy instead- hilarious!
My mom flew in from Minnesota the day before we were discharged, and she stayed overnight in the room with Jenson and me that last night (I sent Jason home to take care of the dogs and to make sure that things were ready for us to come home to). I don't care how old you are- when it comes to times like these, you want your mommy by your side. I felt this immense pride and excitement the first time I watched her hold my sons- I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to top giving her three more beautiful grandchildren!
Being discharged was a little bittersweet. On the one hand, I wanted to go home to my bed, my house, my stuff. On the other hand, I didn't want to leave Sidney and Elliott. It felt akin to abandoning them even though I knew I'd be seeing them very soon and they were obviously in the best of hands in the NICU. Soon we would all be together!
My pain was fairly well controlled, but it just felt so weird to still feel pregnant (lots of weird aches, retained fluids, hot flashes, etc) and yet intellectually know that there were no longer babies in that weird-shaped tummy of mine. Due to the surgery, I had a lot of fluid and air in my abdomen. Instead of seeing the munchkins' movements across my belly, I now got to watch air pockets move around my tummy instead- hilarious!
My mom flew in from Minnesota the day before we were discharged, and she stayed overnight in the room with Jenson and me that last night (I sent Jason home to take care of the dogs and to make sure that things were ready for us to come home to). I don't care how old you are- when it comes to times like these, you want your mommy by your side. I felt this immense pride and excitement the first time I watched her hold my sons- I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to top giving her three more beautiful grandchildren!
Being discharged was a little bittersweet. On the one hand, I wanted to go home to my bed, my house, my stuff. On the other hand, I didn't want to leave Sidney and Elliott. It felt akin to abandoning them even though I knew I'd be seeing them very soon and they were obviously in the best of hands in the NICU. Soon we would all be together!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
NICU...
I have mixed emotions in writing about the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). On the one hand, there were lots of positive, amazing things about the NICU. I will be eternally grateful for the wonderful care that Elliott and Sidney received from the nurses during their respective stays in the NICU. I got to hold both of them for the first time ever in the NICU. We learned a ton of tricks and secrets about how to take care of babies from the NICU nurses. The NICU nurses really got the boys on a schedule, which we have learned is invaluable when you have multiples!
But on the other hand, it became very difficult for me emotionally as time went on to have the babes there- I really just wanted them home with us. And to be quite honest, I think I've emotionally and intellectually repressed most of the details from their time there.
After Jenson and I left the recovery room but before we were taken up to our hospital room, I was given the option of stopping to see the Elliott and Sidney in the NICU if I wanted. Now this may not seem like too big of a deal, but you have to keep in mind that I was still in a gurney/bed at this point and unable to walk yet, so they'd have to wheel my gurney/bed into the NICU to make this happen. A part of me didn't want to be a bother or cause anyone to have to do anything special for me. But the way, way, way bigger part of me was like, "Take me to my babies now!!!!!!!" So to the NICU we went (thank God again for my sweet nurse Angelique for being willing to make this happen).
When we got there, Elliott and Sidney were in different rooms. The NICU at Sutter Memorial has multiple rooms (by the time both boys were discharged, they'd been in four different ones!), but the boys were moved into the same room right next to each other within 36 hours. Even though they were in separate rooms, they looked kind of the same in regards to all of the stuff attached to them. They were attached to monitors that constantly checked their vital signs (heart rate, blood pressure, respiratory rate, temperature, oxygen saturation), so there were multiple probes/stickers attached to them for that. They both had IVs, so more lines for those. They each were requiring the noninvasive CPAP machine ( (hereafter known as "bubbles" as the oxygen actually bubbles as it goes through water), so those were hooked up to their noses. And because they were hooked up to the CPAP, they had to have orogastric tubes as well. The orogastric tube is inserted through their mouth, down their throat, and the end of it sits somewhere in the stomach- not pretty, but necessary.
And they were placed in beds that our friend Jen liked to call "baby jail". They were actually pretty cool machines. The babies were in Giraffe incubators (Giraffe is the brand; check them out online!), which have the capability of regulating the environmental temperature and humidity and are great for taking care of NICU babies. The babes were basically enclosed in the beds as they had side walls and a top on them, hence "baby jail" (they are actually way cooler than I'm probably making them sound).
It was hard to see the babies in their "jails", but it was pretty obvious when looking at them that they needed to be there. Both of them were breathing pretty rapidly (especially Sidney) and they just really needed the interventions that the NICU could provide. Even though I was on my gurney, the staff moved things around so that they were able to get me close enough so I could touch the boys through the little armholes on the sides of the incubators.
They looked so big and yet so fragile all at the same time. It makes me a little teary right now to think back on that experience, but I think I handled it well enough at the time. I was so excited to see them a little bit better and a little bit closer than I had gotten to during the delivery. My boys!! Even with all of the junk attached to them, they were absolutely beautiful. Just beautiful and perfect.
It was hard not to be able to hold them yet like I could hold Jenson, but I actually wasn't too bothered by that and let me explain why. Because I knew that the boys needed the extra help that they were receiving, I didn't want to do anything to upset them or disturb them- I could wait if that was what was best for the babes. But here's the real reason why I was able to handle it and not be too upset about the situation: things could have been so much worse.
Throughout the pregnancy, both Jason and I had been bracing ourselves for worst-case scenarios. And to have those worst-case scenarios fall by the wayside after the boys were delivered and were as relatively healthy as they were?!? I shouldn't have been anything but grateful. After all, there are so many parents in this world who would give anything for their baby to have as few problems after delivery as Elliott and Sidney had. It would be easy to mourn for them not getting to be with us after delivery like Jenson was able to, but we chose to celebrate the fact that Elliott and Sidney were as healthy as they were. Those two little peanuts were working their butts off to get better and healthier in those incubators, so how dare I be anything but grateful? I've tried to keep this saying in my heart for a while...
Don't pray when it rains, if you don't pray when the sun shines.
-Satchel Paige
And so even though it may have seemed like the duration of the boys' time in the NICU was "rain", it truly was "sunshine" compared with what it could have been and I was saying prayers of thanks for that sunshine.
One of the things that I will probably carry around in my emotional baggage for awhile deals with the boys even having to go to the NICU in the first place. A small part of me feels like I failed Elliott and Sidney because they had to go there. Yes, I know (intellectually speaking) that the vast majority of triplet babies usually spend at least a little bit of time in the NICU, so this was just par for the triplet course. But I can't help but think that maybe if I'd just eaten a little bit better, rested a little bit more or in a different position, hadn't worked so long, taken better supplements, etc, etc... maybe they wouldn't have had to go at all. Wishful thinking, neurotic thinking really, but I can't help but feel like there was something more I could have done for my little peanuts during the pregnancy to prevent them having to be separated from Jenson, Jason, and myself during that time.
Elliott came off of the bubbles with 36 hours and then I actually got to go skin to skin with him while sitting in the NICU. He seemed so huge compared with Jenson (those 2 pounds seemed like a HUGE difference!). With the tubes and wires still attached to him, I was worried that I might do something to disrupt or upset them, necessitating them to have to be reinserted/reattached and cause him more discomfort. This is where you really get to see the skills and talents of the NICU nurses in action. His nurse that day helped me get situated so I could hold him, and then she got him arranged so that she was just able to place him into my arms... magic. I just wanted to hold him forever.
Sidney came off of bubbles a few days later- he definitely needed a little more assistance at the beginning. Holding him in my arms for the first time was wonderful and scary all at the same time. Because he'd needed help for longer, I thought of him as being more fragile than he probably was. But this is the miracle of babies- they are actually much more resilient than we give them credit for. Sidney demonstrated this in the most wondrous of ways. The first time I put him to the breast in the NICU to just see if he could latch, my little munchkin just latched right on like a champ with almost no help at all from me. Of course the obvious joke here is that he was such a great eater when he was in my tummy (he was the biggest of the three boys after all!), so why wouldn't he be after he was born?!?
Elliott was discharged from the NICU to come home only one day after Jenson and I were discharged. Sidney had to wait one more week... yucky. Here's the story: around 2am on the morning that Elliott was discharged, Sidney had what is called a bradycardia episode. Basically, bradycardia is when the heart rate drops below an expected range. To my understanding, it's not necessarily unusual for the average newborn to have them, and we just don't necessarily know every time they're having one because they aren't always attached to a vital signs monitor. They are usually a reflection of the baby's brain/body making the normal adjustments to life outside of the womb. The important things are that when a newborn has them, that they are short-lived (the brady episodes, not the baby!) and that they self-correct themselves without the need for interventions from medicine (meaning the baby is able to bring its heart rate back into the normal range on its own).
In Sidney's case, there were good things and bad things. First, the good things. His brady episode was short-lived and the nurse never had to do anything to correct the heart rate. Sidney did it on his own! The bad thing- he was on the vital signs monitor, so we knew for sure that he'd had one. The other bad thing- he was already in the NICU when it happened. At Sutter Memorial, they have a policy where if a NICU baby has a brady episode, they have automatically given themselves a seven day clock. They have to stay in the NICU on the monitors for seven days to be monitored for additional brady episodes, and any during that time will cause their "seven day clock" to be reset. Once they've had one brady episode, they have to go a full seven days without any more brady episodes in order to be discharged.
Multiple brady episodes (or ones where the baby is unable to bring its heart rate up on its own) could be a sign of some underlying problem, so hence the monitoring to see if this was just a normal baby thing or an unhealthy baby thing that would have required additional testing. Thankfully, Sidney never had another brady episode while on the monitors during the next seven days, so he never reset his clock. Jason and I would go and visit him at least twice a day, and each time we went we kept reminding him NOT to reset his clock. "Be a good boy and no bradys buddy!" Thank God he listened, or I probably would have been personally admitted to a psychiatric unit!
It got a little frustrating towards the end of his seven day monitoring period because it just felt like he didn't need to be there anymore. He was looking and acting just like Elliott and Jenson, who were already at home with us. But the doctors were certainly not going to relent and grant him an early discharge. When I wear my healthcare professional's cap, I totally understand why. But when I put on my mother's cap, I was torn. Yes, I want you to make sure my baby is okay. But on the other hand... give me my baby!
Sidney ended up being discharged home from the NICU on Jason's birthday, exactly one week after Elliott. The doctor arrived at the hospital at 7 AM that morning, and I was at Sidney's bedside at 6:55 AM just waiting for the doctor to come around and discharge him. By the time the doctor came to the bedside, Sidney was dressed and ready to go and his bag packed- all we had to do was put him in his infant seat and go... a little antsy, weren't we?!? When Jason woke up that morning, I was so excited to give him his birthday presents- a mocha and his baby newly discharged from the NICU!! Jason has told me that it was the best present ever.
One of the things that I will probably carry around in my emotional baggage for awhile deals with the boys even having to go to the NICU in the first place. A small part of me feels like I failed Elliott and Sidney because they had to go there. Yes, I know (intellectually speaking) that the vast majority of triplet babies usually spend at least a little bit of time in the NICU, so this was just par for the triplet course. But I can't help but think that maybe if I'd just eaten a little bit better, rested a little bit more or in a different position, hadn't worked so long, taken better supplements, etc, etc... maybe they wouldn't have had to go at all. Wishful thinking, neurotic thinking really, but I can't help but feel like there was something more I could have done for my little peanuts during the pregnancy to prevent them having to be separated from Jenson, Jason, and myself during that time.
Elliott came off of the bubbles with 36 hours and then I actually got to go skin to skin with him while sitting in the NICU. He seemed so huge compared with Jenson (those 2 pounds seemed like a HUGE difference!). With the tubes and wires still attached to him, I was worried that I might do something to disrupt or upset them, necessitating them to have to be reinserted/reattached and cause him more discomfort. This is where you really get to see the skills and talents of the NICU nurses in action. His nurse that day helped me get situated so I could hold him, and then she got him arranged so that she was just able to place him into my arms... magic. I just wanted to hold him forever.
Sidney came off of bubbles a few days later- he definitely needed a little more assistance at the beginning. Holding him in my arms for the first time was wonderful and scary all at the same time. Because he'd needed help for longer, I thought of him as being more fragile than he probably was. But this is the miracle of babies- they are actually much more resilient than we give them credit for. Sidney demonstrated this in the most wondrous of ways. The first time I put him to the breast in the NICU to just see if he could latch, my little munchkin just latched right on like a champ with almost no help at all from me. Of course the obvious joke here is that he was such a great eater when he was in my tummy (he was the biggest of the three boys after all!), so why wouldn't he be after he was born?!?
Elliott was discharged from the NICU to come home only one day after Jenson and I were discharged. Sidney had to wait one more week... yucky. Here's the story: around 2am on the morning that Elliott was discharged, Sidney had what is called a bradycardia episode. Basically, bradycardia is when the heart rate drops below an expected range. To my understanding, it's not necessarily unusual for the average newborn to have them, and we just don't necessarily know every time they're having one because they aren't always attached to a vital signs monitor. They are usually a reflection of the baby's brain/body making the normal adjustments to life outside of the womb. The important things are that when a newborn has them, that they are short-lived (the brady episodes, not the baby!) and that they self-correct themselves without the need for interventions from medicine (meaning the baby is able to bring its heart rate back into the normal range on its own).
In Sidney's case, there were good things and bad things. First, the good things. His brady episode was short-lived and the nurse never had to do anything to correct the heart rate. Sidney did it on his own! The bad thing- he was on the vital signs monitor, so we knew for sure that he'd had one. The other bad thing- he was already in the NICU when it happened. At Sutter Memorial, they have a policy where if a NICU baby has a brady episode, they have automatically given themselves a seven day clock. They have to stay in the NICU on the monitors for seven days to be monitored for additional brady episodes, and any during that time will cause their "seven day clock" to be reset. Once they've had one brady episode, they have to go a full seven days without any more brady episodes in order to be discharged.
Multiple brady episodes (or ones where the baby is unable to bring its heart rate up on its own) could be a sign of some underlying problem, so hence the monitoring to see if this was just a normal baby thing or an unhealthy baby thing that would have required additional testing. Thankfully, Sidney never had another brady episode while on the monitors during the next seven days, so he never reset his clock. Jason and I would go and visit him at least twice a day, and each time we went we kept reminding him NOT to reset his clock. "Be a good boy and no bradys buddy!" Thank God he listened, or I probably would have been personally admitted to a psychiatric unit!
It got a little frustrating towards the end of his seven day monitoring period because it just felt like he didn't need to be there anymore. He was looking and acting just like Elliott and Jenson, who were already at home with us. But the doctors were certainly not going to relent and grant him an early discharge. When I wear my healthcare professional's cap, I totally understand why. But when I put on my mother's cap, I was torn. Yes, I want you to make sure my baby is okay. But on the other hand... give me my baby!
Sidney ended up being discharged home from the NICU on Jason's birthday, exactly one week after Elliott. The doctor arrived at the hospital at 7 AM that morning, and I was at Sidney's bedside at 6:55 AM just waiting for the doctor to come around and discharge him. By the time the doctor came to the bedside, Sidney was dressed and ready to go and his bag packed- all we had to do was put him in his infant seat and go... a little antsy, weren't we?!? When Jason woke up that morning, I was so excited to give him his birthday presents- a mocha and his baby newly discharged from the NICU!! Jason has told me that it was the best present ever.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Smiles!!
So I've been pretty bad- more like majorly bad!- about posting anything about what life's been like since the delivery and since the boys have come home. And I do have a couple of good reasons why (at least in my opinion).
A great part of it has been because I've been way too busy living and not really choosing to spend the time writing about it! Over the past eight weeks, if the choice has been between cuddling with my boys or blogging, I don't think you could fault me if I chose cuddling almost every single time. I'm not going to lie- these boys could keep anyone wanting to cuddle 24/7...
And I'm loving it, despite the challenges. I'm exhausted, I'm pretty sure that I only know what day it is about half the time, and sometimes I forget when I last washed my hair (for the record- it was yesterday). But I wouldn't change this. I love our boys so much and I love the way that my life has been completely turned on its end and completely changed over the last two months. The boys are almost two months old already- where did the time go?!?
The other reason that I haven't wanted to post too much? I blame the media circus. It was absolutely wonderful to get the media exposure for the Sutter Mothers of Multiples and to get to share our story with people. But I never, in my wildest dreams, ever dreamed that there would be the level of fascination with our story as there was. I never dreamed that the story of our boys would literally be heard around the world (even in North Korea!!). I don't want to be the fox in the sour grapes, but I didn't anticipate how excited people would be to learn about how much I could eat while I was pregnant and about potential new Guinness records. Jason and I are still amazed that people are as fascinated about the triplet thing as they are.
Jason and I are just living our lives everyday and that happens to now include these stinking adorable munchkins. While we celebrate their presence everyday, we didn't understand before they were born how much others would want to celebrate with us!
And while the celebration has been for the most part wonderful, I wasn't as appreciative of the inherent inaccuracies in the media in regards to our story (see my November post entitled "Misinformation") and the impact it could have had on others. I felt the need to pull back a bit and just focus on the boys. So now that our 15 minutes of fame are done and we're settling into a routine here at the house, I'm back in the blogging mood again! After all, there are so many exciting things to share about our boys!!!
There is so much that I want to write about, but right now I just want to share one thing. Sunday, January 30th, 2012 was a very special day in the Deen family. Why? All three boys smiled at us! This is not the first time we've seen their smiles, but this was the first day that they actually were intentionally smiling at something (and not just because of gas)! Elliott started the trend by waking up for the early morning feeding and giving me two big grins. Jenson and Sidney both decided this was a good thing to do, so they both smiled at either Jason or me after their 1 pm bottles. I tell you this with all sincerity- there is nothing that will melt your heart faster than your child smiling at you. I wish I could have had my camera there to record the moment, but I'm sure there will be plenty of smiles in the future that will be just as sweet...
A great part of it has been because I've been way too busy living and not really choosing to spend the time writing about it! Over the past eight weeks, if the choice has been between cuddling with my boys or blogging, I don't think you could fault me if I chose cuddling almost every single time. I'm not going to lie- these boys could keep anyone wanting to cuddle 24/7...
And I'm loving it, despite the challenges. I'm exhausted, I'm pretty sure that I only know what day it is about half the time, and sometimes I forget when I last washed my hair (for the record- it was yesterday). But I wouldn't change this. I love our boys so much and I love the way that my life has been completely turned on its end and completely changed over the last two months. The boys are almost two months old already- where did the time go?!?
The other reason that I haven't wanted to post too much? I blame the media circus. It was absolutely wonderful to get the media exposure for the Sutter Mothers of Multiples and to get to share our story with people. But I never, in my wildest dreams, ever dreamed that there would be the level of fascination with our story as there was. I never dreamed that the story of our boys would literally be heard around the world (even in North Korea!!). I don't want to be the fox in the sour grapes, but I didn't anticipate how excited people would be to learn about how much I could eat while I was pregnant and about potential new Guinness records. Jason and I are still amazed that people are as fascinated about the triplet thing as they are.
Jason and I are just living our lives everyday and that happens to now include these stinking adorable munchkins. While we celebrate their presence everyday, we didn't understand before they were born how much others would want to celebrate with us!
And while the celebration has been for the most part wonderful, I wasn't as appreciative of the inherent inaccuracies in the media in regards to our story (see my November post entitled "Misinformation") and the impact it could have had on others. I felt the need to pull back a bit and just focus on the boys. So now that our 15 minutes of fame are done and we're settling into a routine here at the house, I'm back in the blogging mood again! After all, there are so many exciting things to share about our boys!!!
Sidney, Jenson, and Elliott in their duckie outfits
There is so much that I want to write about, but right now I just want to share one thing. Sunday, January 30th, 2012 was a very special day in the Deen family. Why? All three boys smiled at us! This is not the first time we've seen their smiles, but this was the first day that they actually were intentionally smiling at something (and not just because of gas)! Elliott started the trend by waking up for the early morning feeding and giving me two big grins. Jenson and Sidney both decided this was a good thing to do, so they both smiled at either Jason or me after their 1 pm bottles. I tell you this with all sincerity- there is nothing that will melt your heart faster than your child smiling at you. I wish I could have had my camera there to record the moment, but I'm sure there will be plenty of smiles in the future that will be just as sweet...
Thursday, December 27, 2012
The Recovery Room
So a lot of the delivery day continues to be a blur for me... I don't think I realized just how blurry things had gotten until I've been sitting down and writing these entries, trying to recall. I've come to the realization that while I have very good recollection of particular details, a good amount has actually either left me, been repressed, or just never registered in the first place! I keep asking Jason for particular details of that day. Luckily he's been pretty patient with me in this regard.
To continue our story... :)
Jenson and I were wheeled into the recovery room on our gurney. They must use that room at times for overflow patients because I distinctly remember seeing another pregnant woman in there, surrounded by family and hooked up to monitors but still in her street clothes. Until the nurses closed my curtains, she kept looking at the little peanut in my arms and smiling. I'm hoping that she was soon able to hold her own healthy little babe...
Whenever I talked with women about their Caesarean sections, more often than not they would mention how cold it was in the operating and recovery rooms and how uncomfortable that made them. Well, I loved it!! After having what I can only describe as massive hot flashes for months (thanks to the healthy overdose of hormones coursing through my body and the three little furnaces hanging out in my tummy) the cooler temps in the OR and the recovery room were an absolute blessing. The irony in all of this is that I moved away from Minnesota to get away from cold temps... and yet that was really something that I'd been craving throughout most of the pregnancy!
Once we were in the blessedly cool recovery room, the nurses went to town on me. Checking my vital signs, checking for bleeding, etc. And they went to town on Jenson too. Checking his vital signs, checking his blood sugar, giving him the usual medications that all newborns get (antibiotic ointment for his eyes and a Vitamin K injection). And they did this all while he was in my arms!
But what I am so excited about is that he and I were actually able to go "skin to skin" less than an hour after his delivery. And thanks to my friend Pat and the nurses, we were able to put Jenson to the breast as well. There is a lot of research that talks about how beneficial these things are for the baby (and for Momma too!), and I was so glad that I was able to do this with at least one of our babies. Because I had basically thought that I wouldn't get to do this with ANY of the babies (thinking of how likely it would be that they'd all be going to the NICU) leading up to the delivery, getting to do it with Jenson was such a gift. I kept looking down at this magical little creature on my chest and it seemed so strange that someone would actually entrust me with him! Really?!? I get to keep this little guy?!? He's ours?!? Babies are absolute magic. Absolute magic.
The nurses kept checking on my pain level, and I don't really remember having any pain at that point. When we first got into the room, I still couldn't feel my legs, but the feeling started to come back pretty quickly. Pain wasn't really an issue at that point for me, but the shaking was.
Aahhhh.... the shaking. I almost felt like I was having convulsions. I couldn't get my arms and shoulders to stop shaking, which is a common thing to happen after delivery. It's caused by the hormonal and fluid shifts that occur after delivering the baby (or babies!), and as you can imagine, I'm sure my hormonal and fluid shifts at that point were pretty significant as I'd just had three big placentas taken out. The nurse was on it, and I got some great medication to help bring the shaking down to a dull roar (God bless Demerol). I wasn't cold at all, so I don't think it was actually shivering.
The shaking probably wouldn't have bothered me so much except for the fact that I was holding Jenson. I remember asking people if I was going to give him "shaken baby syndrome" before he was even an hour old because of my shaking arms! They continued to reassure me that he was fine and that I wasn't hurting him. And so the worrying that I had during the pregnancy about how I might be damaging my children? Destined to continue after delivery...
And then they finally let me have some ice chips. I don't think anything has ever tasted so amazingly wonderful and delicious as those first spoonfuls of ice chips! At that point, it'd been almost 16 hours since I'd gotten to eat or drink anything. Because of the shaking, Pat took over the task of rationing ice chips into my mouth. I probably would have launched ice chips across the room if I'd tried to handle the spoon on my own for too long. Plus my hands were a little full with a certain adorable baby!
Jason and I were so lucky to have Jen, Janelle, and Pat at the hospital with us that day- someone had to keep our respective families up to date with news! I have no clue how they managed to do it because it seemed like they were always surrounding us (which was exactly what Jason and I needed!), but they were sending text messages, making phone calls to each of our families, and sending pictures too. Amazing! They even made phone calls to our coworkers so that they knew that everything was okay with us as well. In the months leading up to the delivery, I'd put a family phone tree down on paper and had arranged for certain family members to be ready to disseminate information on down the line. Since I knew that Jason and I would probably be a little too preoccupied on the delivery day to make all of the phone calls that would need to be made, my close friends got copies of the phone tree too. We were so blessed that our friends not only used the phone tree that day, but they also hadn't laughed too much at my ridiculousness when I'd previously emailed it out to them! Once again, I have been blessed with some pretty amazing people in my life...
Everyone (Jason, Jen, Janelle, and Pat) continued to keep me up to date with what was going on with Elliott and Sidney in the NICU. It may sound odd, but I was not worried about them- I knew in my heart that they were going to be okay. I also felt that they were truly in good hands with the nurses and staff in the NICU. The Sutter Memorial Hospital may be an older facility (they're actually in the process of building a brand new hospital that they'll be moving to!), but their NICU staff has one of the best reputations around. And I guess that I'd encountered so many other high caliber staff throughout my time with the Sutter health system that I just trusted that the NICU staff was going to follow suit.
Perhaps I was slightly delusional at this point (need I remind you that I had just given birth to three munchkins!), but I was actually more concerned about Jenson than I was about Elliott and Sidney. Whoever the heck determined that it was okay to let me keep him was obviously as delusional as I was!
To look down and see this gorgeous creature in my arms who had only taken his first breath in this world less than an hour previous... you just can't look at that and not believe in a higher power. To know that Jason and I had created three of those gorgeous creatures... you can't help but see the hand of God in it. To feel such love for someone that I had only just met... it takes my breath away just thinking about it.
I wish I had the words to do justice to how I felt at that moment, to help describe exactly what it feels like to have three new little munchkins alive and breathing their first breaths in this world... for once, I am at a loss for words. I've been sitting at this computer for a while trying to come up with something good/witty/appropriate/heartfelt (after weeks and weeks of trying to come up with something in my head) and I am just at a loss for words. To say that it's indescribable, while totally true, doesn't seem to cover it either. I felt... I don't know. I just felt. Maybe I could say that I felt full. Maybe. Or maybe I could say... I got nothing. I'm still, almost seven weeks later, totally at a loss as to how to describe it.
Maybe I could tell you that you should take every positive feeling you've ever known... and wrap them together... and just drench yourself in them. Perhaps that will serve to give both of us- you and me- a starting point...
To continue our story... :)
Jenson and I were wheeled into the recovery room on our gurney. They must use that room at times for overflow patients because I distinctly remember seeing another pregnant woman in there, surrounded by family and hooked up to monitors but still in her street clothes. Until the nurses closed my curtains, she kept looking at the little peanut in my arms and smiling. I'm hoping that she was soon able to hold her own healthy little babe...
Whenever I talked with women about their Caesarean sections, more often than not they would mention how cold it was in the operating and recovery rooms and how uncomfortable that made them. Well, I loved it!! After having what I can only describe as massive hot flashes for months (thanks to the healthy overdose of hormones coursing through my body and the three little furnaces hanging out in my tummy) the cooler temps in the OR and the recovery room were an absolute blessing. The irony in all of this is that I moved away from Minnesota to get away from cold temps... and yet that was really something that I'd been craving throughout most of the pregnancy!
Once we were in the blessedly cool recovery room, the nurses went to town on me. Checking my vital signs, checking for bleeding, etc. And they went to town on Jenson too. Checking his vital signs, checking his blood sugar, giving him the usual medications that all newborns get (antibiotic ointment for his eyes and a Vitamin K injection). And they did this all while he was in my arms!
But what I am so excited about is that he and I were actually able to go "skin to skin" less than an hour after his delivery. And thanks to my friend Pat and the nurses, we were able to put Jenson to the breast as well. There is a lot of research that talks about how beneficial these things are for the baby (and for Momma too!), and I was so glad that I was able to do this with at least one of our babies. Because I had basically thought that I wouldn't get to do this with ANY of the babies (thinking of how likely it would be that they'd all be going to the NICU) leading up to the delivery, getting to do it with Jenson was such a gift. I kept looking down at this magical little creature on my chest and it seemed so strange that someone would actually entrust me with him! Really?!? I get to keep this little guy?!? He's ours?!? Babies are absolute magic. Absolute magic.
The nurses kept checking on my pain level, and I don't really remember having any pain at that point. When we first got into the room, I still couldn't feel my legs, but the feeling started to come back pretty quickly. Pain wasn't really an issue at that point for me, but the shaking was.
Aahhhh.... the shaking. I almost felt like I was having convulsions. I couldn't get my arms and shoulders to stop shaking, which is a common thing to happen after delivery. It's caused by the hormonal and fluid shifts that occur after delivering the baby (or babies!), and as you can imagine, I'm sure my hormonal and fluid shifts at that point were pretty significant as I'd just had three big placentas taken out. The nurse was on it, and I got some great medication to help bring the shaking down to a dull roar (God bless Demerol). I wasn't cold at all, so I don't think it was actually shivering.
The shaking probably wouldn't have bothered me so much except for the fact that I was holding Jenson. I remember asking people if I was going to give him "shaken baby syndrome" before he was even an hour old because of my shaking arms! They continued to reassure me that he was fine and that I wasn't hurting him. And so the worrying that I had during the pregnancy about how I might be damaging my children? Destined to continue after delivery...
And then they finally let me have some ice chips. I don't think anything has ever tasted so amazingly wonderful and delicious as those first spoonfuls of ice chips! At that point, it'd been almost 16 hours since I'd gotten to eat or drink anything. Because of the shaking, Pat took over the task of rationing ice chips into my mouth. I probably would have launched ice chips across the room if I'd tried to handle the spoon on my own for too long. Plus my hands were a little full with a certain adorable baby!
Jason and I were so lucky to have Jen, Janelle, and Pat at the hospital with us that day- someone had to keep our respective families up to date with news! I have no clue how they managed to do it because it seemed like they were always surrounding us (which was exactly what Jason and I needed!), but they were sending text messages, making phone calls to each of our families, and sending pictures too. Amazing! They even made phone calls to our coworkers so that they knew that everything was okay with us as well. In the months leading up to the delivery, I'd put a family phone tree down on paper and had arranged for certain family members to be ready to disseminate information on down the line. Since I knew that Jason and I would probably be a little too preoccupied on the delivery day to make all of the phone calls that would need to be made, my close friends got copies of the phone tree too. We were so blessed that our friends not only used the phone tree that day, but they also hadn't laughed too much at my ridiculousness when I'd previously emailed it out to them! Once again, I have been blessed with some pretty amazing people in my life...
Everyone (Jason, Jen, Janelle, and Pat) continued to keep me up to date with what was going on with Elliott and Sidney in the NICU. It may sound odd, but I was not worried about them- I knew in my heart that they were going to be okay. I also felt that they were truly in good hands with the nurses and staff in the NICU. The Sutter Memorial Hospital may be an older facility (they're actually in the process of building a brand new hospital that they'll be moving to!), but their NICU staff has one of the best reputations around. And I guess that I'd encountered so many other high caliber staff throughout my time with the Sutter health system that I just trusted that the NICU staff was going to follow suit.
Perhaps I was slightly delusional at this point (need I remind you that I had just given birth to three munchkins!), but I was actually more concerned about Jenson than I was about Elliott and Sidney. Whoever the heck determined that it was okay to let me keep him was obviously as delusional as I was!
To look down and see this gorgeous creature in my arms who had only taken his first breath in this world less than an hour previous... you just can't look at that and not believe in a higher power. To know that Jason and I had created three of those gorgeous creatures... you can't help but see the hand of God in it. To feel such love for someone that I had only just met... it takes my breath away just thinking about it.
I wish I had the words to do justice to how I felt at that moment, to help describe exactly what it feels like to have three new little munchkins alive and breathing their first breaths in this world... for once, I am at a loss for words. I've been sitting at this computer for a while trying to come up with something good/witty/appropriate/heartfelt (after weeks and weeks of trying to come up with something in my head) and I am just at a loss for words. To say that it's indescribable, while totally true, doesn't seem to cover it either. I felt... I don't know. I just felt. Maybe I could say that I felt full. Maybe. Or maybe I could say... I got nothing. I'm still, almost seven weeks later, totally at a loss as to how to describe it.
Maybe I could tell you that you should take every positive feeling you've ever known... and wrap them together... and just drench yourself in them. Perhaps that will serve to give both of us- you and me- a starting point...
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Merry Christmas!!
Merry Christmas from Jenson, Elliott, and Sidney!!
L to R: Elliott, Jenson, and Sidney
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