Lovely 36...

We've made it!  Happy, happy, happy 36 weeks to all!  I'm pretty sure that there aren't any doctors around that would argue with us having full term triplets in my tummy now!  It's so strange to think that  less than six months ago, Jason and I still thought we were having one sweet little baby.  How wrong we were.  And now... here we are less than FIVE DAYS from our scheduled C-section where we will get to meet our three sweet little boys!  And apparently the boys wanted to celebrate this fact by giving me an early gift- they actually let me sleep for 4 HOURS in a row last night!!  I'm pretty sure that hasn't happened more than once or twice since April...

The last few days have been a little bit tough for me physically.  The pain and discomfort in my back, hips, and pelvis has really started to increase, so no body position is comfortable for very long.  I can't be up on my feet for any real length of time.  A week or two ago, I could go for a slow walk around the block with Jason at night, but now even that seems to be too much without careful planning of how long I'll rest before and after!

I pretty much can only leave the house for short periods of time each day, if that.  On days where I don't have medical appointments, I try to plan for a quick errand or a meal out with a friend, just so I can get a change of scenery.  I basically only go to Target, the grocery store, or Costco now because they have the riding carts for me to use to get around the store!  I feel bad using the riding carts because I'm not a sick or disabled person normally (and if I'm using one, that means someone who is disabled may have to wait for a riding cart.  I feel very badly about this fact...), but I literally cannot make it around the grocery store without one anymore.  My only concession to not being totally feeble is to walk from my car into the stores.  One of the cashiers let me know that I could call the store from the parking lot and they'd actually drive a riding cart out to me- thanks, but no thanks!  How sad is it that my daily exercise right now is walking into the store... and this is after I drive around the lot for a while to make sure that I get a parking spot close to the door (before the pregnancy, I didn't care where I parked- I actually used to prefer to park farther back in the lot so I could force some exercise on myself!).

And I have yet to knock over any displays or

run into anything!

I think one of the things that I'm grateful for is the size of my ginormous belly.  Once people see how huge it is, they don't generally question my use of the riding carts.  They don't generally question my moving slowly and are usually very quick to help me.  Here's the usual behavior right now for the strangers that I come across- lots of smiles, lots of offers of help, and lots of offers to send positive thoughts our way.  I feel like I'm back in Minnesota again- everybody smiles at everybody back there!

So even though I struggle with feeling like a feeble burden to those around me, my doctors and nurses are pretty impressed that I've made it this far.  Dr. McElvey told me yesterday that she was fascinated by how well I'm still moving.  And the nurses that do my non-stress tests get so excited when I walk into my appointments ("Oh my goodness- you're still walking around!").  And I guess when I try to cut myself some slack, it does seem kind of neat (and makes me a little bit proud) that I'm still able to get this Humpty Dumpty-like body up and moving.

And that feeling of pride in my body is something that I haven't truly experienced in almost ten years.  In my early 20s, I worked for a couple of summers at a high adventure outdoor camp for teens and adults.  My first year there, I served as a wilderness guide, taking groups for a week at a time into the wilderness with no contact with civilization.  We'd canoe and camp, and I was responsible for everyone's well-being and creating "the best experience" possible for these people.  Prior to this pregnancy, it was the most intensely demanding physical/mental/emotional/spiritual thing that I had ever done.  I lost 30 pounds in less than a month and truly pushed my body to its limits because that is what the job required.  You try carrying an 80 pound canoe on your shoulders through the woods to get from one lake to the next- not exactly easy!!  But I did it.  Not only did I survive that first summer, I thrived there.

And one of the most important lessons that I learned that summer was to be proud of what my body could DO versus what it looked like.  There aren't many mirrors in the wilderness (thank goodness- if I looked anywhere close to what I smelled like after a week in the woods with no shower... yikes!), so my physical appearance became pretty insignificant compared with what my body could physically handle.

And carrying these munchkins has brought me back to that same feeling.  Obviously I'm not carrying 80 pounds of canoe right now (try 80 pounds of pregnancy weight instead!), but I'm pretty amazed that my body hasn't tried to run away from all of this yet...

Jason and I are trying to relish every last minute of this week.  Soon our lives are going to be totally and completely changed for forever more.  No longer will it be just "Jason and Brittany" (I know, I know, technically it hasn't been just the two of us since March, but it's different when the babes are still in the belly!).  No longer will we be able to get up on a weekend morning and spontaneously decide to go out for breakfast.  No longer will we be able to make last-minute decisions to go out without planning for whether the boys are coming with us or not.  No more picking up new hobbies without weighing the priority of time with our family vs. time alone.

We've been going out to the movies together, going out to dinners together, playing board games together at night... it's almost like we're dating again!  But it's slightly different now compared with when we first started our relationship over six years ago (and not just because I can no longer fit in booths at restaurants).  Now our conversations center around the days, months, and years to come and how they will be filled up with our boys.  How excited we are to finally meet them and hold them for the first time.  How scared we are to mess up as parents.  How worried we are about how we'll handle everything without losing our minds.  How cool it's going to be to watch our munchkins play with us and each other.  How going from two to five will be such an amazing journey.