I was retaining so much water, in fact, that on Sunday evening I sprung a leak. An actual leak I tell you! Not everyone may be aware of this, but I was most comfortable throughout the pregnancy in as few clothes as possible when I was resting around the house, thanks to the hormones giving me hot flashes and it was purely just uncomfortable at times to have anything touching my skin. Well, the only real challenge with that (other than the whole having to remember not to answer the doorbell as is!) was that the poor stretched & sensitive skin on my tummy would scratch and get little wounds on it so darn easily if I even happened to glance at a countertop or the edge of a table. Anything touching my tummy skin was guaranteed to leave a mark. On that Sunday evening, a tiny scratch on my tummy (probably the size of the tip of a pencil) actually opened up and started slowly weeping fluid.
I didn't put two and two together right away- I thought the drops of water on my tummy were just condensation dropping off of my water glass whenever I'd take a drink. But as the time went by and I realized that it had been many minutes since I'd finished off the water and I was still having drips of water running down my tummy... it occurred to me that I needed a different explanation for why my belly was wet! I panicked a little at first, thinking that my water had "broken" and I was going to be delivering babies out of my belly button... but then I remembered that the doctors had reassured me that no babies had ever actually done this a la the movie "Alien". A quick call to my dad (an ER physician who just so happens to have 17 years of obstetrics experience) confirmed my second thought- that my tummy skin was so fragile and retaining so much water that it was literally just weeping retained water. Phew!
So an hour later with a compression dressing and some antibiotic ointment and the weeping had stopped... at least the weeping from my tummy. The weeping from my eyes, however, took a little bit longer. I'm not going to lie- that Sunday night was probably the lowest emotional point of the pregnancy for me. The pain (my back, my hips, etc) combined with these little things were just getting to be too much for my emotional stamina. On that Sunday night, for the first time ever, I'm ashamed to admit that I contemplated what would happen if I actually called the doctors and told them I wanted to get the babies out. If ever I came close to wanting to deliver the babies before our scheduled time, that Sunday night was it. So after some good crying and consoling by my husband and a stern talking to from myself, I think I finally just passed out from pure exhaustion and slept for a few hours.
I woke up frequently throughout the night, though, and continued to check to make sure that babies were still not coming out via my belly button. And at some point, my resolve returned. After all, the babes had been working their tiny little butts off for all of those months to grow and get big and be ready for their big day- how dare I be so weak as to contemplate giving up when we were so close? I know it sounds stupid- that a little leak and some congestion could do me in after all that we'd been able to accomplish over the previous months, but it's the truth.
I awoke the next morning (Monday) and got ready like usual to drive to my non-stress test appointment, and I felt as if the previous night's emotional breakdown had never happened. It's truly amazing what a few hours of sleep and giving yourself a mental pep talk can do for your psyche. And I'm proud of myself for not totally giving in to my weakness and calling the doctors. I came close, but a favorite quote of mine comes to mind...
In the midst of Winter, I learned there was in me an Invincible Summer.
-Albert Camus
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